The Brochure of Wedding Day Decorum

I sometimes wish I could hand out brochures to everyone but the bride and groom at the beginning of a wedding.  Sort of a "How To Behave Yourself Because the Day Is About Them Not You"  decorum guide.  Of course, this brochure would have to come equipped with selflessness, empathy, and the knowledge when to keep one's mouth shut! (It might also include a breathalyzer test, but that is another blog for another day!) 

A wedding is meant to be shared.  If you are a guest at a wedding, you were invited because you are loved.  Everyone enters the space with emotion attached to weddings, love and relationships...literally for better AND for worse.

Today I officiated a wedding where there was quite a bit of family drama.  The cast of characters included ex-husbands and wives, a step-mother, a step-sister, a half-sister, several sets of grandparents, one grandfather who had to work and could not attend...there was  jealousy, intrigue, gossip, short tempers, and unfortunately, a frustrated bride who finally succumbed to tears.

Getting married can stir up a lot of emotions for everyone involved, but it is particularly stressful for the bride.  Not only has she spent a lot of energy trying to make everyone feel involved and not hurt any feelings, she has also spent countless hours listening to suggestions...From wedding decor to where to seat Aunt Edna, the process of planning a wedding itself promotes growth and change that can be very confusing and nerve -wracking. Many unresolved emotions about parents and family will come to the surface. What to do...???

It is important for a couple to recognize they are embarking on a journey.  Stepping onto a new path from one part of life to another can, in and of itself, create a wide range of emotions.  This is not an inner sign that the couple should not marry; but it is important to honor emotions and fears that arise. The fears and mixed emotions that go along with blending families are natural and it is important to be honest with yourself and your soon-to-be spouse during this time. 

Unfortunately, my wedding brochures have not hit the market yet, so you might have to withstand thoughtless and even spiteful comments about the bridesmaid's dresses or your choice of caterers.   If you do find yourself shedding a tear or two over a hurtful comment, remind yourself that tears on a wedding day are considered good luck! Above all else, please remember that the exchange of vows and celebration is about the two of you. The day is yours...the day is beautiful!