Eight Maids-a-Making (Decorations)!

It has been brought to my attention on more than one occasion that the "honor" of being asked to be the Maid of Honor is not given the same amount of "verve" it used to have in the past.  The position of Maid of Honor is considered the be the bride's go-to person for anything wedding-related she needs help with.  This may include ordering wedding favors, calling guests, putting out fires with stubborn relatives, and occasionally even wiping tears away from a bride's porcelain cheek! At any rate, the Maid of Honor has added responsibilities with her title. Here is an excerpt from wedding expert Colin Cowie:

FOR THE MAID OF HONOR:

Lady Liaison. As the leader of the pack, the MOH is the contact person for all of the bridesmaids. She also manages many of the follow-up conversations with the attendants over their dresses, shoes, fittings, flowers, hair, the parties they should attend and just about any detail that slips past the bride. On the morning of the wedding, the MOH also checks in with the attendants to make sure they have transportation to the ceremony, have their hair and makeup done and have their bouquets in hand.

Play Hostess! Where does the MOH make her mark pre-wedding? She organizes the bachelorette party just before the wedding. And should the bride’s mom, sis or another friend neglect to step in, the MOH may host the bridal shower too. (Even if she doesn't host this event, the MOH is expected to act as record-keeper for all gifts so the bride knows who to thank for each present. She can also craft the kitschy, time-honored “ribbon bouquet” the bride carries down the aisle at the rehearsal.)

NOW, FOR THE BRIDESMAIDS

Compared to the duties of the Maid of Honor, these girls get off pretty easy. Here’s why:

Be Involved. The bridesmaid should expect to assist the bride or MOH as needed with decorations, dress shopping trips, assembling invitations or programs or any other task she’s tapped for. Oh, and be on time and low-maintenance for all these events; it will help alleviate the bride's stress beyond measure.

Smile! This edict doesn't just apply to all wedding-related photo ops! A bridesmaid should put on a happy face at all times and not criticize the decisions the bride makes for her own special day. This means an attendant should jump into customs the bride wants to include in her wedding, from a receiving line to a bouquet toss. She should help out with assembling party favors, if asked. And she should accept graciously the bridesmaid’s dress the bride has chosen—from its color to style—with a genuine smile (not a smirk!)

For a complete look at the roles and responsibilities of all the Maids, please check out colincowieweddings.com/inspire-me/i-doevent/maid-

OLD, new, BORROWED, blue...SIXPENCE, too!

The origin of the familiar phrase "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue" became very popular during the Victorian era, though this time-honored tradition actually has roots that can be traced back to Roman times.  This tradition comes from an Old English rhyme which has an interesting addition at the end that many American brides are unfamiliar with which goes like this…"Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue, and a Sixpence in Your Shoe".

According to original tradition, the first of the five items or "something old" represents continuity of the past moving into the future. The old item can be an antique, an heirloom object, or a sentimental piece that represents the bride's past. The 'something old" would often be handed down from a family member and was often a piece of jewelry or even a trinket that held particular significance to the family.

The second of the five items or "something new" represents optimism for the future and the new life the bride will share with her groom. "Something new" was frequently represented by the wedding bands the couple would wear.  Today, brides AND grooms often have a heavy “arsenal” of new items, if you will, to accommodate this line of the poem.

The third of the five items or "something borrowed" represents borrowed happiness. Ages ago, the "something borrowed" would be the garter of a happily married woman with the thought that the happiness and good fortune in her marriage would be passed on to the new bride. Today brides often borrow from a long-time happily married couple for this item, but it can also be something from a friend or other relative who is symbolic of happiness. (A NOTE TO THE BRIDE:  The borrowed item should be returned to the owner following the wedding day. It is helpful if one of the wedding attendants or mother-of-the-bride returns the borrowed item to the loaner to relieve the bride of this duty. A thank you note is always appreciated and appropriate when the borrowed item is returned.)

Finally, the fourth of the five items or "something blue" represents love, good fortune, and fidelity. This “something blue" came from the ancient Roman tradition in which the bride would wear a blue ribbon in her hair to symbolize fidelity. Incidentally, the color blue is also often associated with the Virgin Mary...go figure!  (A NOTE TO THE BRIDE: There are unlimited ways the color blue can be incorporated into the wedding day. Keep in mind there are many shades of blue and one may work better than another for the bride depending on how the blue item will be used. Some brides will not want blue to be a dominant wedding color and so they will prefer to limit the blue color to less visible areas.)

The fifth, and last, item traditional brides have with them on their wedding day is a silver sixpence in their shoe. The sixpence, which represents good fortune and prosperity, is traditionally placed in the bride's left shoe, but it can also be carried in the bride's purse or sewn into the hem or lining of her gown. Including a sixpence in wedding shoe remains primarily a British custom today, largely because after 1967 the sixpence was no longer minted and they became difficult to find.  Gradually, that part of the poem was deleted from the American tradition…but we are here to bring it back!  (A NOTE TO THE BRIDE:  Silver sixpence coins can be purchased from various online stores that sell them specifically for weddings, but many brides have found other ways to interpret this wedding custom by using pennies or other currency from various countries and carrying the item instead of placing it in their shoes.)

Just remember that the four (or hopefully, five) objects that the bride adds to her wedding outfit or carries with her on the big day are just good luck charms.  But please, don't stress too much about them -- they are little tokens of love that a mother, sister, other relatives, and attendants will give you to cherish on your day.  Some brides even gift themselves with the items…we have included a list below to help you accomplish this task:

Something Old 

- Use/rent a classic car for wedding day transportation

- Decorate with vintage silk ribbon or use it in the bride's bouquet

- Place an antique bookmark to mark ceremony readings

- Use a childhood pillow for the ring bearer's pillow

- Get a relative's handkerchief to tuck into your sleeve

- Display wedding photographs of parents, grandparents, or great-grandparents at the reception

- Find an antique tussy mussy (a conical hand-held bouquet vase) for the bride's bouquet

- Get a vintage purse to match the bride's gown

- Have the bride carry a childhood treasure she has saved (like a ring, bracelet, locket, etc.)

- Wear heirloom jewelry such as a brooch, earrings, a bracelet, a necklace, or some hair pins

- Tuck an antique hat pin into the bride's bouquet

- Sew a button from the bride's father's old coats on the inside of the bride's gown at the hem

- Give the bride a vintage compact mirror for her purse or a vintage pillbox with mints

- Get a champagne glass to  use during the reception from a relative's wedding

- Wear a headpiece, tiara, or veil that has been handed down

- Wear vintage white gloves

- Sew some of mother's or grandmother's wedding gown fabric or lace inside the bride's gown

- Display the parents' cake toppers or use it as the wedding cake topper

- Tuck a love letter saved by the bride's mother from the bride's father into the bride's purse

- Carry a wedding photo of parents or grandparents in the bride's purse

- Display a photograph of the bride as a little girl or carry it in the bride's purse

Something New

- Buy a new lipstick in a pretty shade for the bride to wear on her big day

- Purchase a new makeup bag or new purse to use on the day of the wedding

- Find a new charm for the bride's charm bracelet

- Select a new jewelry item to wear  at the wedding like a bracelet, earrings or necklace

- Treat the bride to a pair of new luxurious silk stockings

- Give the bride new lingerie to wear under her gown or on her honeymoon

- Get a sun parasol to keep the bride cool in between all of those photographs

- Treat the bride to a new haircut, new highlights, or new hair extensions

- Purchase a special guest book for guests to include a personal note at the wedding

- Drive a new car for the bride's wedding day transportation

Something Borrowed

- Let the groom borrow grandfather's pocket watch or have the bride carry it in her purse

- Include flowers from the grandparents' garden in floral arrangements or in the bride's bouquet

- Borrow father's silk handkerchief

- Use aunt's prayer book during the ceremony

- Borrow a long-time family friends' timeshare for your honeymoon

- Borrow the song from the bride's (or groom's) parents' wedding to dance to

- Have the wedding at a borrowed location like the bride's parents' backyard

- Use a best friend's strapless bra for the day

- Borrow a headpiece or hair baubles

- Use sister's silver knife to cut the cake with at the reception

- Wear borrowed jewelry from a happily married gal pal

- Use the same wording as the bride's (or groom's) parents' vows

- Borrow a book from the library that has a poem or reading that will be used in the ceremony

- Use a wedding attendant's sunscreen to protect the bride from the sun during photographs

- Borrow a button-down shirt or robe for the bride to wear while getting hair and makeup done

Something Blue

- Paint the broom blue or tie a blue ribbon on the broom for the Jumping the Broom custom

-Tie a blue ribbon around the rings on the ring pillow or place the rings in a blue box

- Use blue confetti shaped like hearts

- Wear a blue garter

- Wear a blue sash on the wedding gown

- Paint the bride's toenails or fingernails with blue nail polish

- Have the florist use blueberries in the table centerpieces

- Apply blue eye shadow

- Sprinkle the bride's skin lightly with sparkly blue body glitter

- Wear blue shoes

- Dress in a blue underskirt or petticoat

- Wear sapphire, tanzanite or aqua marine jewelry

- Use a blue-stone tiara

- Drive a blue car for transportation

- Carry a blue purse or clutch

- Pack blue lingerie for the honeymoon

- Get a pretty new blue scarf or handkerchief to tie around the bouquet

- Tie a blue thread around your finger

A Sixpence in Your Shoe

- Buy a silver sixpence from an online store to use for the wedding

- Use a coin from the country of the bride or groom's ancestry

- Get a mint coin for the bride to carry 

With Rings on Her Fingers and Bells on Her Toes (Well, not exactly...)

I am always looking for symbolism in all things wedding.  Recently I have been pondering the reason for wearing the engagement/wedding band on the fourth or "ring" finger of the left hand. 

You may be familiar, to some extent, with the reason the wedding band is worn there.  According to Roman belief there is a vein we have in our left "ring" finger which runs directly to the heart, which as we all know, is the symbol of LOVE. However, this vein, called the vena amoris, is found similarly in ALL the fingers of BOTH hands.  Wedding bands were  not exchanged in Rome until the later part of the second century, and engagement rings were often strands of hemp woven together and tied around the betrothed's finger. Other cultures, like the Gauls and Britons wore rings on their middle fingers.

Then I heard a beautiful theory (thank you Hub) that the Chinese have given as to why the wedding ring should be worn on the fourth finger. As the story goes :

Look at your left hand that your wedding ring goes on. The thumb represents your parents. The index finger represents your siblings. The third finger, or the middle finger, represents yourself. The fourth finger represents your life partner. And the pinkie represents the children you will some day have.

Now, place both of your hands together and bend your middle fingers together, leaving the other fingertips touching together as shown in the picture.

When your hands are as such:

Pull your thumbs apart (this represents the parents). Your thumbs will open because you and your parents are not destined to be together forever. At some point they will leave you in your life. Now put your thumbs back together.

Repeat the same motion with your index fingers (this represents your siblings). Of course your index fingers will also separate because you are also not destined to be with your siblings for the rest of your life. They will move on and have families of their own. Now put them back together.

Next, separate your pinkies (this represents your future children). Of course these will also separate because your children will not be with you forever. They will grow up to have lives and families of their own as well. Now put them back together.

Now for your "ring" finger (this represents your life partner). Try separating them as you did with the other. Can't do it can you? That is because your life partner is the one who is supposed to be with you for the rest of your life. They will be the one to be with you forever and through thick and thin.

To be honest...I think the inability to move the ring fingers apart has more to do with structure of tendons in the hand...but hey...who cares?  It's a lovely story... :)

LET THEM EAT CAKE! (or donuts, or jello, or crepes...)

frosted butter cookies

crepe cake with sweet cream filling

I am so delighted to meet with new brides and grooms and to discover the ideas and decisions they already have in place as they plan what will become one of the most important days of their lives.  I am even more tickled when a bride asks for vendor advice...I have the privilege of working with MANY TALENTED individuals in the wedding biz, and I don't hesitate to make referrals. Many of these referrals are for confectioners/cake decorators.

Traditionally, the wedding cake is as important to the structure of the wedding reception as tossing the garter and the first dance. And, as a result of reality TV shows like Cake Boss on channels such as the Food Network, the wedding cake is taking center stage.  From classy white cakes with fondant and floral patterns, to whimsical, brightly colored towers topped with anything from birdcages to baseballs, the wedding cake is considered a piece of art---even more---a reflection of the couple, the theme, the DAY itself.

frosted donut tower

rice crispy cake

But what about the bride or groom who actually dislikes cake?! An interesting point-of-fact is that many brides are asking me for alternate wedding cake advice! A few weeks ago, one groom sat across from his bride and said (very gently) that he was able to endure (and even kind of enjoy, because it made her so happy) the flowers, the silk brocade, the tulle, the favors and the other wedding frou-frou. But, he could not happily spend an absurd amount of money on a wedding cake when he did not even like cake!  His mother agreed, she had never baked him a birthday cake in his life as he opted, instead, for a pan of lasagna each year---but that's another blog for another day.

jiggly jello-cake

cotton candy "cake"

SO here are a few pics of alternate cake ideas.  I am certain if you ask your local bakery if they recommend someone or even ask the cake decorator you already had in mind to think outside the box and help you create something scrumptious that is truly a reflection of the two of you.  Hey, I love a good slice of wedding cake myself, but if the same stunning result can be achieved with alternate goodies to make your groom (or yourself) happier, go for it.  It is YOUR day!

Sticky Notes

As many of our couples are finding out, we strive to learn who you are before we write your ceremony. So many people that we talk to don't want the standard and want something personal. Hence, this little tidbit. We had found that one of our grooms spent the morning posting sticky notes all over the house with little love notes on why he loved his bride.
Following is an excerpt from that ceremony.

 I, Matt, take you Emily to be my wife,
To be my partner in life and my one true love.
Together we will create a home and a life that we can cherish.

I will love you as you are and not as I want you to be,
I will love you more each day than I did the day before.
I will grow old by your side as your love and best friend.
I promise to remember to leave little sticky notes all over the house now and again…
And I will cherish you for as long as we both shall live.  

I, Emily, take you Matt to be my husband,
To be my partner in life and my one true love.
Together we will create a home and a life that we can cherish.

I will love you as you are and not as I want you to be,
I will love you more each day than I did the day before.
I will grow old by your side as your love and best friend. 
I promise not to get too upset if you forget to put the sticky notes back where they belong…
And I will cherish you for as long as we both shall live. 

Even during the final blessing, I handed the groom a stack of sticky notes with pre- written love notes on them and asked that he never run out of sticky notes.
It doesn't seem like much really, but the guests, the bride and groom all loved the little bit of "them" written in. Granted, there was more about the couple than what you see, but I hope it gives you an idea of what we do and the effort we put into the ceremonies we write.

Put a Little Pep(to-Bismol) in Your Step!

It is that time of year again...sinus infections, sniffles, flu...I have been feeling VERY under the weather myself  this week.  I have three weddings to officiate this weekend, and I am certainly hopeful I feel better by then.  I don't want to ask them to repeat "I do" and instead say "A-CHOO!" Which made me think about what do you do if you wake up sick on your wedding day? It may be just a stuffy nose, the normal cold, congestion, a headache, a sore throat, or the worst--- raging diarrhea. But, it’s your wedding day–you know you can suck it up and make it through the ceremony and reception. But what about the physical manifestations of your ailment? What if you look like they had to dig you up to get you to the church on time?

This day in particular, you want to look and feel your best.  After months of preparation, you may ask yourself  "Why now?"...but don't worry, here are some tips to put color in your cheeks and a little more pep (pepto-bismol?)  in your step!

Red or puffy eyes–Get two small baggies and put a few ice cubes in them. Cover them with two fluffy washcloths and lay them over your eyes for 10 minutes. This will brighten your eyes up and reduce the puffiness by constricting the blood vessels.

Lackluster lips–Apply a rosy-pink lip gloss to your lips. The color brings a vitality to your pucker, unlike nudes, which can make you look corpse-like.

Red face–Apply a creamy bronzer. It counteracts the pinkness.

Cold sore–There’s no real quick fix here, but you want to start the healing as soon as possible. An over-the-counter medication like Abreva can speed the healing, and you can wear it under make-up.

OK. Now that you won’t look like the corpse bride, let’s see what we can do you get you actually feeling better.

Diarrhea–Relief is in your medicine cabinet or at the pharmacy. Immodium A-D, Pepto-Bismol and Kaopectate will all help stop the runs.

Headache–break out the extra-strength Tylenol, Advil, Exedrin, whatever you’ve got handy. 

Sore Throat–This tip comes from opera singers. Anything warm (not too hot!) and thin (like tea or broth) is good for relaxing the throat. You can add some things to your “hot water infusion” to increase the healing power like honey, lemon, ginger, cayenne pepper or licorice. If you’re a smoker–DON’T!

Bloating–Coated peppermint oil is a quick fix for abdominal pain, bloating, diarrhea and gas. Peppermint oil is available in capsule form.

Cold, congestion–Sorry. No quick fix. Take what you normally take for a cold, and be glad you can make yourself  look good despite feeling under the weather. Remember, anything containing Benadryl may make you very groggy, so choose a daytime decongestant very carefully. 

Now, get into survival mode and do whatever it takes to enjoy your day!

Who is That Cutie Patootie in the Tutu?

When you are getting married one of the exciting decisions is WHO to include in your bridal party. Your college roommate...his fishing buddy; you try not to offend those closest to you, but rather include everyone in some fashion.  Inevitably, the discussion will come round to the possibility of having a young niece, daughter, or daughter of a friend of the bride and groom stand as flower girl for your processional.  

Some couples choose to exclude children from their wedding altogether, and this is a decision that only you and your spouse-to-be can make. But, if you ARE open to the idea of having a flower girl you are embracing a centuries old and time-honored tradition that extends into many cultures. What, though, is the flower girl's purpose in the wedding? Why does she throw flower petals from a basket? 

The flower girl first made her appearance in Ancient Rome when she would carry wreaths of herbs and wheat down the aisle before the bride emerged.  The herbs and shafts of wheat symbolized prosperity and fertility for the bride and groom.  Back then, the girls wore white gowns that would probably be used for other purposes more than just the wedding. 

During the Medieval days, the flower girl carried garlic down the aisle which was said to ward off evil spirits.  Fast forward to the Victorian era, when flower girls began being dressed in white gowns to resemble the bride. These pristine (well, hopefully!) white gowns were adorned with a festive and colorful bow.  The flower girl of the "modern age" often sprinkles rose petals or carries a pomander or nosegay.  In some cultures, there are many flower girls, rather than just one, as is tradition in the U.S.

The flower girl symbolizes youth and innocence and is a reminder of the beauty, wonder, and joy of youth. This symbol is further suggested by the transition from young girl to stunning bride. This nod toward the rite of passage into womanhood remains a wedding tradition, as many brides include at least one special little girl as a part of the big day. 

Having children in your wedding is a show of love for children, especially the ones chosen to be a part of the wedding, and can symbolize wishes for future children to be had by the happy couple.  At one wedding I officiated at recently, the bride and groom already had a small daughter.  Lily was just shy of two years, and she was led down the aisle in a beautifully decorated wagon by her cousin.  She had a bit of stage fright and did not quite understand what she was supposed to do with the petals in her basket.  Then Grandma whispered to her to remember to sprinkle the flowers.  With eyes wide, she jumped out of the wagon and ran BACK down the aisle strewing flowers petals in big clumps every which way. The guests were delighted by her innocent, yet hilarious, little antics. 

In another ceremony, the processional of bridesmaids glided toward the altar as traditional wedding music played.  Then, as the flower girl stepped onto the runner, all music stopped.  As the flower girl of about 9 years of age made her way down the aisle, there was not a sound.  This was in stark contrast to the bubbly, bouncy flower girls we are used to seeing, but it was beautiful.  All eyes watched as this lovely young girl quietly tossed petals on the path for the bride. As the bride made her entrance, the music swelled again and everyone stood. I later found out that the DJ had not intended to stop the music, it was a glitch in the system and he was trying to fix it as the flower girl did her thing.  What a wonderful, reverent, poignant mistake!   

It is tender moments like these which build the fondest memories for everyone at the wedding, especially for the children you honor as a part of it.